Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Was Jenin a Mistake?
I must admit, the points raised here do concern me. It has been useful to the Jihad for the Israelis to withhold their fiercest firepower in order to protect "innocent" Palestinian civilians (though Osama laughs at the thought that there were many truly "innocent" civilians in Jenin, which is Suicide Bomber Central and, as this Israeli soldier knows, is controlled by Islamic Jihad and Hamas). Osama's fear is that next time, the IDF will do it with F16s and bombs instead of ground troops, and we'll have a harder time tricking the UN into believing the Isrealis committed a massacre.
I can not believe Arafat accepted that compromise to free him from Ramallah! What does he think he's doing? Being penned up in his HQ was great PR for our side - the French, the Euroweenies and the UN were all coming down hard on Israel and the U.S., and as long as he was held inside his compount, Arafat could plausibly deny any connections to additional suicide bombings and other acts terror even as they continued on the road of defeat of the West en route to Palestinian liberation and Islamic global victory. Now that the little pudgy guy is free to roam around Ramallah, the next suicide attack will be blamed on him. They'll whine that he isn't doing enough to stop the attacks, and the Eurowimps will finally figure out that Israeli force stops terror attacks, but Arafat delivering a statement doesn't. I've known that all along, of course, but Arafat and the intifada has been a useful tool to distract the Americans from Iraq, long enough for Osama to establish new training bases and safe houses there for al Qaeda. I was hoping they'd keep Pudge under seige for months. He was more useful that way.
Random Thoughts
Osama disavows knowing these friends of mine in America. No doubt, these are just peace-loving Muslims who have been framed by the infidel American inJustice system. Meanwhile, can anyone tell me why my favorite web site is down?

Friday, April 26, 2002

Rumsfeld, the leader of the American crusaders, arrogantly claims allied troops in Afghanistan are capturing Al Qaeda and Taliban fighters almost daily. You know it's a lie because, first of all, the Taliban were wimps. They all bugged out early.
Sow the Wind...
I sure hope Bush isn't listening to what Rich Lowry has to say about Abdul Aziz. Same goes for Crown Prince Abullah. Just because Aziz chose to ally with the Brits so many decades ago instead of sticking with the jihad he helped seed doesn't mean the Saudis should make that same infidel choice. Abdullah, don't lose heart! The tens of thousands of young Arabian men your schools have graduated, all filled with Islamist fundamentalism and hatred of America and the Jews, are the seedlings that will grow a forest of fuel for the conflagration that will rid the world of the Americans and the Jews. Use the oil weapon, Abdullah! Then watch your own regime be declared a part of the "axis of evil," and millions of your best and brightest will strap on bomb belts and head for the nearest America installation or even to Israel. Allah be praised!

Thursday, April 25, 2002

First of all I gotta thank Osama for inviting me to participate in this blog. I may not be able to post very often - hard to smuggle laptop batteries into my Ramallah compound, and the Israelis cut the power off as you know. And Colin Powell didn't rescue me - and yes, I'm still spitting mad about that!

I see where Crown Prince Abdullah went to Texas to threaten Bush with an oil embargo of the U.S. doesn't stop backing Israel. I worry about Abdullah. Sometimes I think he really means this "Arab Peace Plan" initiative he's been hyping, and other times I just think he's smelled a few too many petroleum fumes and has lost his mind. I mean, c'mon. Threaten the Americans? With an oil embargo? Even I'm not that stupid. Abdullah can stop the oil, but if he does, the money stops too - and our side needs that money to pay off the families of suicide bombers, and to buy weapons from Iran.

Not only that, but if the U.S. needs oil, it's got plenty of firepower to take out Saddam Hussein, install a friendly government and get Iraqi crude at $5 a barrel. And there goes my main source of political and financial support. Ah well. That's how it looks here from Ramallah. Until later.... Yasser.

Friday, April 19, 2002

She's so right!
The Jews are always to blame, just as this fine column in the British newspaper the Spectator says. Osama is please that someone in London finally has explained why it is Israel that is the terrorists, not the Palestinian Authority and Fatah and its suicide-bomber children blowing up Israeli civilians. Allah be praised!
Fortunately for Islam, the American Congress is pushing the Bush administration to take a strong pro-Israel side in the Palestinian conflict. This is necessary in the process of Jihad - as it will make clear to all on which side every nation and every people stand. The EU appears to be tilting our way.
Osama is grateful for the anti-Jew rally that is planned for Washington DC tomorrow, and loves that it has been planned to take place on the anniversary of Adolph Hitler's birth. The Council on American-Islamic Relations should be proud of its efforts to promote this day of hate directed at Israel and those Zionist lapdogs in America who continue to prop it up against the wishes of Almighty Allah.

Thursday, April 18, 2002

The Infernal Jonah Goldberg... gets it
Goldberg writes, "The word 'religion' draws from the Latin 'religio' which originally referred to customs and rituals. The Islamic word for 'religion' in Arabic is 'din' which means 'law.' To be grossly simplistic, religion in the West is something we do, in the Middle East it is something you must do." He's right. Now you know why Osama and his true Muslim followers must do whatever it takes to do away with the Christians and the Jews from Muslim land. As Goldberg accurately quotes Osama: "Allah ordered us in this religion to purify Muslim land of all non-believers, and especially the Arabian Peninsula."

And you dumb Americans still pretend it's not a religious war.
Jihad American Style
There are those in America who say that this current war, which they call a "war on terror," is not a religious war, that this conflict that rages from the World Trade Center to Kandahar and Khost and Kabul, and to Jerusalem and Jenin, has nothing to do with Islam vs. Christianity and Judaism. And there are those that say there is no Fifth Column undermining America from within via its media and academia. Whatever. They ought to read this Allah-inspired essay from an esteemed professor of history in Ohio. Osama says this IS a religious war, and this professor is right to praise suicide bombers as the way to kill off the invading Jews and their American/Christian backers.
Sometime last night, Allah blessed Osama's blog with its 30,000 visitor, who logged in from an IP address at Emory University. Osama thanks you, whoever you are. Also, results of Osama's interactive poll continues to run strongly in Osama's favor, with 100 percent of participants saying Osama should not be tried for war crimes. Support from the French for letting Osama off the hook remains strong with 76% of the voters casting the French "NON!" and 24% casting their "No" vote in English. Osama is especially grateful to Allah and the French that he's doing far better than Ariel Sharon ultimately did in that topsy-turvy CAIR poll.

Wednesday, April 17, 2002

Where's bin Waldo?
Today's WaPo has a report claiming U.S. intelligence officials now believe Sheik Osama managed to escape from Tora Bora because of the ineptitude of the infidel aggressors.

An excerpt: Captured al Qaeda fighters, interviewed separately, gave consistent accounts describing an address by bin Laden around Dec. 3 to mujaheddin, or holy warriors, dug into the warren of caves and tunnels built as a redoubt against Soviet invaders in the 1980s. One official said "we had a good piece of sigint," or signals intelligence, confirming those reports.

"I don't think you can ever say with certainty, but we did conclude he was there, and that conclusion has strengthened with time," said another official, giving an authoritative account of the intelligence consensus. "We have high confidence that he was there, and also high confidence, but not as high, that he got out. We have several accounts of that from people who are in detention, al Qaeda people who were free at the time and are not free now."

The WaPo's report calls to mind another report, more than a month ago, in the Infidel Science Monitor, that put the speech on Nov. 26. Osama can't remember the date of the speech - it's not like I'm carrying a PalmPilot around with me in the mountains, downloading my daily Franklin Planner schedule. But it was a great speech. Really inspired lots of poor young Muslim men to sacrifice their lives for Allah while I skipped over to Pakistan for a little R&R.

Poll Update
100% of the people responding to Osama's poll say Osama should not be put on trial for war crimes. French voters outnumber English voters 78% to 22%. Liberte! May Allah bless the French.
Joe Katzman emails to wish me peace. "Peace be upon you. About six feet of peace," he says. Katzman has a blog of course. Another blogger, Mary Madigan, wrote to ask why I hadn't made any more videotapes, saying, "I guess, like Elvis, fame was just getting to you." But that was before al Jazeera broadcast my latest.

UPDATE: Fixed the link to Katz' meow.
New interactive feature at Osama's blog
Osama has added a new public opinion poll to his blog. As the Council on American-Islamic Relations says, online polls "help in weighing public opinion." Today's question is, should Osama bin Laden be tried for war crimes. You can answer "No" in English or French.
I bet Saddam's jealous
But why am I not getting royalties for this? And this offends me. I look better in olive drag.
How do you say "Death to America" in Urdu?
I gotta get me one of these

Monday, April 15, 2002

The Indefatigable Victor Davis Hanson ...
has more questions. .... and, just like the last time, Osama has the answers!

VDH's questions in italic
Osama's answers in bold

The Palestinian Authority and spokesmen from the Arab world are now advancing a new party line by comparing their own struggle to our American Revolution — with overt associations between the Founding Fathers and Mr. Arafat and his associates! This is a slur against our American heritage and should be noted as such.

Yes. It is a slur. But it fools some of the gullible amongst you and your lazy media. Except the warbloggers.

Despite an expected natural evolution in morality over the centuries, our leaders in 1776 were still far more humane folk than the present-day Palestinian gunmen. When waging war in a similarly asymmetrical conflict, they nevertheless did not blow up their enemy's women and children. When outgunned, they still did not name streets after killers who went through the countryside bombing shops. When lacking in cannon and warships, their citizens still were not given cash bounties for murdering British infants. And they were fighting for constitutional government — not something corrupt like Mr. Arafat's regime, which does not tolerate a real opposition, regular elections, or a free press. And if the Palestinians are so critical of America, why do they now invoke our own revolution as a model? And if they really do approve of our own past, will they similarly now adopt something like the American Constitution?

Of course not - the American Constitution is in complete and total conflict with and defiance of Islam, the Qu'ran and the Khilafah.

Throughout the debate over the current crisis we have heard a refrain of "Apaches and F-16s" raised by Palestinian critics to chastise American aid to Israel. We hear constant calumny about America's tilt toward the Jewish state — yet almost nothing about the nature and size of its massive aid to Jordan, Egypt, and the Palestinian authority. Moreover, Israel received almost no help from America in its first three wars, when the Arab world had an enormous advantage in planes, tanks, guns, and manpower. So we know that historically, American arms do not per se ensure to the Israelis the military edge. We know as well that many of the Israeli's own weapons are produced at home — unlike the Arab world, which must import almost everything in its arsenal from Europe, China, or the United States. Is the real moral quandary that the United States gives state-of-the-art aircraft to a modern democracy whose citizens are our friends, or that we are providing sophisticated weapons — such as M1 tanks — to a dictatorship in an unfree Egypt, whose citizens and state-controlled press regularly express hatred for Americans?

Got me. I have never understood why you armed your enemies.

Why is a small state surrounded by millions of enemies deemed the Goliath of the Middle East — when it is clearly a David on the world scene? If it garners no admiration for pluck because it is deemed too strong in comparison with the Arabs, why does it in turn win no sympathy because it is too weak in relationship to the entire world?

To be honest, Israel is considered a "Goliath" by the Arab world because, well, every time we take it on in a conventional war, we get our asses kicked.

The United States worries that "moderate" Arab regimes are "tottering" and "on the verge." Is Israel likewise "tottering" and "on the verge" of a similar revolution? If not, why not? How can any autocracies "totter" unless they are illegitimate to begin with?

My fear is the autocracies collapse and are replaced by an infidel 'democracy.'

Should Mr. Sharon announce his warm amity with Jordan, Syria, and Egypt, he might lose an election and be exiled to putter in retirement at his farm; but what would happen to King Hussein, Mr. Assad, and Mr. Mubarak should they call Israel a "friend"? And where would they then go? Southern France? Las Vegas? Perhaps, now, Afghanistan?

They'd go on Osama's Special Secret Top Priority Target List, pronto.

Why are those who killed 3,000 Americans on September 11 — along with Saddam Hussein, Qaddafi, and the countries who supplied the manpower for al Qaeda — all on the same side against Israel, while Israel in turn is alone sympathetic to our own losses — and why are we ourselves then neutral about all this? Is there a pattern here?

You should not be neutral. Being neutral is the same as being neutered. But Osama is glad that you are trying to be "neutral." It makes my job easier.

If there is no real Palestinian army in uniform (as we are told ad nauseam), and if Israelis are dying, then who is killing them — if not civilians? And how can a man with a bomb or a gun be a killer when he bombs or shoots — but then suddenly be reclassified as an innocent civilian should he be shot at in return and killed?

Mainly with the help of an appeasement press and lily-livered establishment in the EU.

If the idea of fighting autocracy and imposing democracy upon defeated tyrannies in the Muslim world is ill-conceived and impractical, why is what now serves as a fragile government in a war-torn and impoverished Afghanistan still far more humane than what is called rule in an oil-rich Iraq, Iran, or Kuwait? Why are Mr. Karzai and his associates more legitimate rulers than the Saudi sheiks? And why does America find Germany and Japan among the most confident, humane, prosperous — and friendly — nations in the world today? Why are the Germany and Japan that we once brutally defeated far more understanding of and equitable to America than the France which we magnanimously saved?

I can't explain the French, but I like the predictable way they roll over for fascists.

Why are the streets of Afghanistan and Pakistan quiet now when, a year ago, they were the most fanatically anti-American of all Middle Eastern states and nearly rioting in favor of pro-Palestinian terrorists?

Truth be told, it's because al Qaeda and the Taliban aren't there to make people protest the U.S. at the point of a gun.

In the 1967 and 1973 wars, the Soviet Union — which had a decided preference for unfree regimes — habitually pressured us to stop the successful Israeli response to Arab aggression. In 2002, long after the demise of the Communist empire, a socialist Europe has taken upon itself exactly the same role, threatening to install sanctions against Israel, condemning the United States, and seeking to pass anti-American and anti-Israeli resolutions in the U.N. If we were once hostile to the purveyors of such shenanigans, why are we now so tolerant of their successors?

I have no idea. Seems to me America's natural allies are not France and the appeasers of the EU, but Russia, Britain and India. Geez, if you guys ever figure that out, my side is dead meat.

The Vatican now reels from charges that a vicious pederasty that destroyed hundreds of innocent young men was (and is) endemic among its priestly corps — and has been tolerated or ignored by its hierarchy. Recent church histories suggest that in the 1930s — and perhaps during the war itself — its role in opposing anti-Semitism and the Holocaust was not impressive. Given such recent troubling questions about its own principles in general and its past attitudes toward Jews in particular, why does the Vatican now, at this particularly embarrassing time, appeal to morality in condemning Israel's recent response to the terrorists' murdering of women and children? And why — as armed gunmen broke into the holiest site in Christendom, the birthplace of Jesus — did the Vatican admonish the Israelis, but say little about the intrusion of combatants upon its own holy premises? What would have been the reaction of the Arab world had 200 Christian gunmen taken over a shrine in Mecca?

The Vatican's moral incontinence is shocking even to one like Osama who believes that all Christians should be converted to Islam and by force if necessary.

Why is it that in televised news debates, Palestinian spokesmen filibuster, interrupt, and often are told by their hosts to behave — or have their microphones cut off? Why do their Israeli counterparts less often engage in the same boorish behavior? And why do enraged Palestinian interlocutors demand indulgences from American moderators in a fashion that they would never allow at home to any but themselves? Does such a dichotomy, between the comportment of Israeli and Palestinian debaters, have anything to do with the larger antithesis of a culture of democracy versus a culture of autocracy and censorship?

You're asking why a culture that raises its youth to be suicide bombers why they act rude on TV? Hello?

If al Qaeda blew up 3,000 innocent Americans, bragging that it did so to stop American material and spiritual hostility to the Palestinians, and we in turn responded militarily to eliminate that terror and murder-why, when similar killers blew up hundreds of Israelis and said it was to stop Israeli hostility to the Palestinians, did we call on Israel not to respond to eliminate that terror and murder? Can we at least say that we act not out of principle, but rather from strategic concerns or worries over oil or political expediency — so that we might at least be honestly inconsistent, rather than hypocritical?

Osama cares not what you say - just as long as you are diverted from the War on Terror for just a little bit longer...

Guests from the Middle East and Arab Americans themselves did not stage demonstrations on our campuses and in our streets to protest the butchery of 3,000 Americans on September 11. If not because of their present support for other Middle Easterners who use tactics similar to al Qaeda to blow up civilians — why are they now suddenly marching to condemn deaths abroad on the excuse of a heartfelt objection to "terror"?

Muslims and Arabs, even those living in America, care little about Israel. You'll just have to accept it.

Does the "right of return" apply to the expelled Jews of Cairo, Damascus, and Baghdad? To the Greek Cypriots? To the South Vietnamese? To the Tibetans and the Dalai Lama? Cambodians? Pakistanis? Ionians? Indians? Germans?

Yes, if they're Muslim; No, if they aren't.

Why do American academics, who preach the need for a strong democracy at home, worry over purported restrictions of a free press, protest about the treatment of prisoners, and monitor our judiciary, nevertheless praise Palestinians — who forgo elections, censor the news, execute the untried, and have no habeas corpus — while castigating the Israelis, who vote, air their views, give rights to the accused, and have judges who overrule government legislation?

Inconsistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Why are we in such a mad, mad world? Simple. What people now say has nothing to do with reality. And why is that? Because the reality is now far too frightening to admit: A tired world simply finds a small, democratic Jewish state — opposed by 500 million Arabs, anti-Semitic, autocratic, with oil and terrorists — too much of a liability, and so desperately invents inconsistent moralities, false principles, and situational ethics each day to mask a consistent amorality that won't go away.

Yes. You have tied one arm behind your back with your inconsistencies and your weakness. Makes it harder to fight a war, doesn't it? And with your very survival at stake. Osama is amazed. Allah be praised.
Why is Osama's blog not listed at Warblogger Watch? There is no more pro-war blog than "osama's bin bloggin". Heck, I started the whole war back on Sept. 11 with my sneak attack on America. Well, okay, I didn't start the war - it has been a low-intensity conflict for decades - but I did take it to a whole new level of violence. And daily I'm exhorting Muslims everywhere to take up arms and crush the infidels. War! Kill Americans! War! Kill Jews! War! Kill Our Own Kids With Dynamite Belt Packs! War! Kill! Destroy Civilization! Death to America! Make Bombs Not Love! War! WAR! WARRRRRRR!

So why am I not listed at the anti-war Warblogger Watch blog?

Arafat tries to convince me not to feel slighted. After all, Pudge tells me, the WarBloggerWatch is designed to undermine the warblogs of our enemy. But Osama still feels snubbed. :-(

Sunday, April 14, 2002

Internal Memo
To: al Qaeda members worldwide, and supporters of al Qaeda and affiliated terror organizations including Al Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Fatah, Tanzim, Hezbollah, Hamas, the Palestinian Authority, The Government of Iraq, the ruling Iranian clerics, and our supporters (witting and unwitting) including the Saudi royal family, pro-Palestinian French, anti-Semitic Norweigans, U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney, the Arab 'street,' et al.
From: OBL
April 14, 2002

1. Ignore this guy.

2. Don't worry much about this lady. Her essay is a good read, but she's an infidel praying to the wrong god, and her prayers can not stop Allah's mujahedeen from attaining victory in this Jihad.

3. Osama thinks this is very cool, and it warms his heart to know that this Palestinian man is raising his daughter right ... with a desire to pursue a military career in service to Allah. But we can't forget to consider the PR, people! It's one thing to teach little Abdul or little Abdullette how to be a martyr for Allah. It's another thing to let the western press snap a Polaroid and publish it! C'mon, we're smarter than that! Photos such as this, while they make Osama happy, enrage the infidels and make it harder to convince them that Palestinians aren't nuts, that Islam is a religion of peace rather than a cult of psychotic murderers, that the Palestinian cause is 'just' and that anti-Semitism isn't dangerously increasing in Western Europe.

Your attention to these matters is greatly appreciated.

Allah be praised!

Arafat & Clausewitz
Your humble servant Osama has parsed Yasser Arafat's statement and found that it contains nothing that will get in the way of continuing the Jihad against the Jews and the Americans. Arafat cites "our steady principle that rejects using violence and terror against civilians as a way to achieve political goals." Osama notes what Pudge didn't say is more important than what he did say. The Palestinian Authority has rejected the use of terror as a way to achieve political goals but of course will continue to use suicide bombings and other martyrdom weapons as a way to achieve territorial and religious goals - i.e., expansion of territory of the future Palestinian state, and reduction of the non-Islamic population of the world.

The great von Clausewitz once said that war is just politics by other means, but of course he knew nothing of Jihad, which is religion, not politics. Thus, terrorist attacks in the cause of Jihad is not politics but religion, and we reserve our right to practice our religion in keeping with the commandments of Allah as revealed to us by his Holy Prophet in the Qu'ran. Bombs away.

Saturday, April 13, 2002

Even Without Jerry Lewis
A telethon in Saudi Arabia raises $97 million to help fund the Palestinian intifada - including the families of martyred suicide bombers - according to this Arab News report. Two points of note: the largest single donation, $27 million, was made by Prince Alwaleed ibn Talal, whose generous offer of $10 million to New York after Sept. 11 was rejected by that fascist Mayor Rudolph Guliani after Talal correctly indicated America deserved the attack because it backs Israel. Also, according to Arab News, during the telethon Sheikh Abdul Mohsen Al-Qasim, imam of the sacred mosque in the Holy city of Medina, described Israel as the No. 1 enemy of Muslims, and said the Jews had always conspired against Muslims. Osama notes that isn't "anti-semitism," but "pro-Muslimism."
Arafat's Statement
Osama finds much to praise in Yasser Arafat's statement that has caused U.S. Secretary Of State Powell to consider going ahead and meeting with Pudge.

Arafat said: "We strongly condemn violent operations that target Israeli civilians, especially the last operation in Jerusalem. We also strongly condemn the massacre and the killing Israel occupation forces have, and are still, committing against Palestinian civilians and refugees in the city of Nablus and the Jenin refugee camp and the Church of Nativity in Bethlehem and other Palestinian territories over the past two weeks."

Arafat meant:"We strongly condemn the fact that a 'violent operation,' also called a 'suicide bombing,' caused Powell to cancel his meeting with me, especially that last operation in which an heroic female Palestinian suicide bomber killed six Israelis, which we would praise in Arabic except for the unfortunate timing just hours before Powell was to meet with me and complete the revival of my stature as leader of the Palestinians. But her family will still get their checks from Saddam. And the Saudis."

Osama is especially thankful to Allah that Arafat said nothing to indicate he was opposed to suicide bombings in the future. Jihad continues!
What a Wimp
Osama regrets ever recruiting the incompetent wimp Zacharias Moussaoui. First he gets himself arrested a month before he was supposed to join Mohammed Atta and the other 18 guys on those four planes. Now he's crying that he needs more room in his jail cell and whining for a computer and other items. Oy vey! The French are such wimps! My advice to Moussaoui: shut up before they decide to try you in one of those military tribunals instead.

Friday, April 12, 2002

Jonah Made Me Chuckle
Osama rarely reads the right-wing rants of American warmonger Jews like Jonah Goldberg, but happened to stumble across his column today in which he criticizes U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney, who says she believes that the Bush administration had advance knowledge of the Sept. 11 attacks, did not warn the soon-to-be-victims, and now has friends in Big Business making big bucks off the war.

Later, Ms. McKinney backtracked a bit, saying, "I am not aware of any evidence showing that President Bush or members of his administration have personally profited from the attacks of 9-11. A complete investigation might reveal that to be the case."

Goldberg's reply: "Well, just let me just say that I am not aware of any evidence that Ms. McKinney has murdered several children or that she personally profited from sleeping with the entire defensive squad of the Atlanta Falcons. However, a complete investigation might reveal that to be the case."

While I have admitted that I was in cahoots with Bush, the Carlyle Group, Unocal and Cheney (he's an oil man, ya know) to start this war for fun and profit, Goldberg's response to Ms. McKinney made me laugh. Hard. So hard, goat's milk spewed out of my nose. Praise be to Allah!
The worst kind of Iraqi
"When Dr Ahmad Chalabi talks about toppling Saddam Hussein, the US hawks listen," reports this story profiling the man Osama views as the world's worst Iraqi.

But Saddam won't go quietly. He "is now immeasurably better armed than he was in 1990; b) will probably strike at Israel the moment he is attacked; and c) will use anything he can when the chips are down - including dirty nukes and biological warfare. ... If Saddam can go out having killed 100,000 Israelis, his ambition to live on in Arab memory as a modern Saladin will be achieved. The stakes are high, which accounts for the pallor of British ministers and officials who have seen some of the recent estimates of Saddam's arsenal and his plans."

Now you know why Osama idolizes Saddam. Osama has killed his thousands, but Saddam his tens of thousands! Allah be praised!

For more on the coming American war against all of Islam's hero, Saddam, see this report.
More on Khilafah
Did you know, my Muslim friends, that the Iranian constitution conflicts with Islam? It does! Article 1 of that infidel document declares that the form of government of Iran is that of an "Islamic Republic," endorsed by the people of Iran on the basis of their long-standing belief in the sovereignty of truth and Qur'anic justice... through the affirmative vote of a majority of 98.2 percent of eligible voters, held after the victorious Islamic Revolution led by the eminent marji' al-taqlid, Ayatullah al-Uzma Imam Khomeyni.

But here's the deal: A "republic" is a government in which people select a ruler to rule them by laws that are made by the people or by their representatives. This is a a non-Islamic form of government! In Islam, a head of state, also called a Khalif or Imam, is chosen by the Muslims, who then pledge allegiance to him as long as he is ruling by the Qur'an and the Sunnah of The Prophet. If the Khalif rules by the Qu'ran, he may rule for life.

On the other hand, if the Khalif departs from the Qu'ran and the Sunnah, he will be removed from power. Islam has the procedures on how to do that. Generally, those procedures involve a knife in the back followed by a bloody purge of the infidel leader's associates. In a republic, the people just vote the guy out and let him go on the speaking circuit to profit from his sins.
Fifth Column
Beware of traitors in our own ranks, my Muslim brothers. But be assured that Allah will prevail!
Okay, I admit it.
Someone finally figured it out. The conspiracy, I mean. Me, Bush, the Carlyle Group and Cheney (he's a former oil man ya know), all working together to gin up a phony war to make us all a bunch of money. Millions. BILLIONS, even! But we've been found out .. and by a woman! U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney has revealed parts of the conspiracy in a radio interview, reports the Washington Post here. She doesn't know everything. Ted Rall, however, helpfully adds tidbits about Unocal's role in the conspiracy, and don't pay any attention to Spinsanity's piece-by-piece deconstruction of Rall's rant, which maligns Rall's conspiracy theory as one that "breaks down under scrutiny into little more than a few wisps of circumstantial evidence held together by anti-Bush vitriol and emotionally charged rhetoric." Osama believes Rall is not just on target with his theory, but that perhaps he knew of the conspiracy before September 11. Consider this: Rall is due to profit big from the war by hawking his book, To Afghanistan and Back, which purports to be an accurate account of Rall's trip to Afghanistan after Sept. 11. Isn't it just a bit curious that Rall was able to produce his book in less than seven months after the attacks on America? That's less than seven months unless he had insider knowledge. And if that little weasel had pre-knowledge and was able to turn it into a money-making book, Osama is going to be mad. I mean, here I am dodging Daisy Cutters and trying to explain to the tattered remains of my Holy Mujahedeen why we're getting our asses kicked and Rall's over there in America doing Politically Incorrect, selling books and making money by making an ass of himself. Only in America. Allah works in mysteriously insane ways, does he not my Muslim brothers?

By the way, Osama isn't the only one who thinks Rall is a war profiteer.
New Friend of Osama
Osama has added a new site to his list of permanent links over there <----- on the left. Warblogger Watch. They get far less traffic than Osama's blog, but Osama really likes these dudes and wants to help them out. Because anyone who contributes even in a small way to undermining the American effort to save civilization from evil murdering Islamo-fascist terrorist thugs is a winner in my book. ... I wonder if they'd like to take flying lessons...

Thursday, April 11, 2002

Worth Your Time
Your leader Osama gets a lot of ink in this long and very detailed report in The New Yorker on the Kurds of Northern Iraq, though that paragon of Islamic leadership, Saddam Hussein, naturally gets top billing. The Kurds of course come across as whiny - whining about having their villages gassed by Saddam, when as good Muslims they should have accepted their role as test targets with honor, knowing that some day Saddam will use those weapons or others like them to rid the Middle East of Israel and those pesky Jews with their 'democracy' which conflicts directly with the tenets of Islam and the teachings of the Holy Prophet.

Those Kurds whine, too, about how no one takes them seriously as 'victims' like the U.N., the EU and even many in the U.S. State Department view the Palestinians. Consider this passage:

Many Kurds believe that Iraq's friends in the U.N. system, particularly members of the Arab bloc, have worked to keep the Kurds' cause from being addressed. The Kurds face an institutional disadvantage at the U.N., where, unlike the Palestinians, they have not even been granted official observer status. Salih grew acerbic: "Compare us to other liberation movements around the world. We are very mature. We don't engage in terror. We don't condone extremist nationalist notions that can only burden our people. Please compare what we have achieved in the Kurdistan national-authority areas to the Palestinian national authority of Mr. Arafat. We have spent the last ten years building a secular, democratic society, a civil society. What has he built?"

Arafat? I'll tell you what Pudge has built. He's built a nation of psychopath suicidal terrorist bombers. Now that's what Osama calls progress.
The Next Front
Good news in, of all places, the Infidel Science Monitor, which reports that "Saddam may have fired the first shot" in the coming battle with the Americans. The story says, "An assassination attempt against a leading pro-Western Kurdish leader in northern Iraq underscores the risk that the US and its allies are taking as they weigh options to topple Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein. The wily Iraqi leader – long the nemesis of Washington – may not wait for the US and its allies to make the first move. Kurdish sources say that Ansar al-Islam, a radical Kurdish Islamist group, last week targeted Barham Salih – the erudite, pro-Western prime minister of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK). The group is reportedly supported by Mr. Hussein and has links with Osama bin Laden's Al Qaeda network."

I wish the press would call Osama "wily."
Jenin Spin
Not being directly involved, Osama is mulling whether the outcome of this battle is merely a minor setback to the Jihad, or a clever strategy to lull the Israelis into a fatal sense of complacency. Meanwhile, you can read the Ha'aretz account of the battle here. Even ArabNews.com reports the statement of Jamal Abu Al-Haija, a senior Hamas leader, that, "The battle is over. There are a large number of martyrs. Many have been arrested. The Israelis are in total control and there is no more fighting."

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

According to ArabNews.com, Saudi Arabia's First English language daily, "Saudization" is a government program designed to replace foreign workers with Saudis. The govermment cites the huge sums that expatriate workers send out of the country each year to their families back home as a reason to kick foreigners - many of them Muslims and Arabs - out of their jobs. Over the next few years, nearly half a million expatriate workers will be replaced by Saudi workers. Palestinians are not exempt from having their job given to a Saudi, so Sheik Osama believes it is really important we get those potential suicide bombers a real homeland soon, preferably outside the Kingdom, lest they start blowing up our malls, restaurants and buses.
Facts are Funny Things
Afnan Fatani, a Saudi professor of English language, writes an open letter of protest and condemnation, intended for U.S. officials. Says Fatani, "We condemn the fact that a notorious war criminal like Sharon is welcomed with open arms and accorded red-carpet treatment at the White House, while Yasser Arafat, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, is shunned and abhorred." And people are agreeing with her! Allah be praised!
Mall Rats
Amr Al-Faisal questions whether Saudis have the stomach to really take on the Americans where it counts: at the mall.

Writes Mr. Faisal: "We often hear our people making loud noises about boycotting American products. To those advocating a boycott, I ask a few simple question: Has any government forced you to buy a Caprice instead of a Camry? Have you been forced at gunpoint into McDonald’s or Pizza Hut? Is there an American fast food outlet that is not full of our citizens? Our markets are full of American products. Are they immune to a boycott? Another irony is that our young people who call for jihad do so while dressed in American clothes and wearing American hair styles. We talk too much and talk is cheap. If we had practiced a quarter of what we preach, our situation today would be totally different from what it is. I would like to tell my brothers: Please stop blaming your governments and blame yourselves. I challenge you all. Are you really capable of boycotting American products as you claim to be?"

I dunno, Amr... I think Saudis will boycott American companies if given a good enough reason. Like, for example, right now there are a lot of Saudis who seek to avoid getting on American airliners. Thanks to your humble servant Sheik Osama and his fellow "Saudis of Sept. 11."

Tuesday, April 09, 2002

Don't Go Here
No good Muslim should go to this site and join the over 200,000 people who have signed a petition asking the Nobel Prize committee to revoke the 1994 Peace Price it gave to that statesman Yasser Arafat. I mean, c'mon, people, just because he sends suicide bombers into Israeli groceries, nightclubs and religious celebrations and kills innocent children and old people? Give Pudge a break - he knows the prize is named after the inventor of dynamite, and thought it was the "Nobel Piece Prize" and he might win another one for brainwashing Palestinians Muslims to blow themselves to pieces.

However, Osama does believe Arafat's co-winner in 1994 should be stripped of his prize.
Arab Intellectualism
It is wonderful to see the flowering of Arab intellectual thought, as epitomized by this posted at IndyMedia.org:

Titled "A letter to The Jew on this site," it was written by "Abdul," who, I have been told, was voted both "Most Likely to be a Suicide Bomber" and "Least Likely to Succeed" by his classmates at Ramallah High, class of 1999.

Abdul writes: "Hey, jew face, why don't you stick to your "jew sites" or israel indymedia? Is it b/c your jew friends don't find your opinion valuable on their sites? Why are some jews obsessed with Arabs? why can't you get a life of your own? When you guys had an option of picking your jew-land, out of the whole world you wanted to live in Arab land, in Arab houses, drive on Arab roads and bath on Arab beach.....whats the deal here? first you prefer Arabs over the world then you hate them and kill them relentlessly. Is it b/c Arabs like the rest of the world have 'rejected" you? Why does Sharon keep on asking to be invited by the Arab league? don't you f...s get it...they rather have Arafat deal with you b/c Arafat is the only Arab that could possibly put up with your repulsiveness. You guys are 'sick f...s" get some "NATION THERAPY" and get over the ARAB OBCESSION. Write on your sites, this is an Arab site...as I recall it , you hate Arabs or am I wrong? You seem to 'dig' Arabs."

Ah yes. Next time I need some dupe to fly a plane into a building, I'm gonna call Abdul.
A Fine Idea
I checked with Yasser "Pudge" Arafat and we agree that Ken Layne's idea in this fine essay is a good one. At least I think Pudge likes it. He did seem worried, however, that without Israel, those suicidal Palestinians might start targeting him once they realize his only talent is being a terrorist leader and he's not competent to run a decent government.
Sad, but True
An essay by Jonathan Chait in The New Republic asserts that Israel's invasion of the West Bank is causing a reduction in the number of suicide bombings. More reason the Arab world must increase pressure on the U.S. to get Israel to pull out, before they are too successful.
Sheik-en Trust
The evil John Ashcroft and his allies in the Infidel States of America's Injustice Department have falsely accused four comrades of Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman - three good Muslims and a lawyer - of helping Rahman direct terrorist activities from his American prison cell, CNN reports. I trust the three Muslims.
Letter From a Reader
Osama can't reply to all of the many emails sent by readers of this blog, but I feel I must address the issues raised by Pete Schiavo, who wrote, "Hey, I have two questions: Is it Osama or Usama? Also, I have you in the office pool as being in Iran and that you fled Afghanistan before Tora Bora started heating up. So if you could let me know where you currently are, I have $20 riding on it. I'd appreciate it."

Thanks for the kind letter, Pete. Technically, it's written in Arabic. In your alphabet, the proper spelling is "Usama," but because most Western media spell it 'Osama' and because the people of the West are the targets of my blogging, I spelled it that way to make it more accessible to them. As for you bet, I apologize but Sheik Osama can't help you. I did skeedadle out of Afghanistan before Tora Bora. I can't tell you if I'm in Iran or not - while you have $20 riding on it, there's $25 million riding on my head. :-(

Monday, April 08, 2002

Islam vs. Democracy
Wayward Muslims who believe that Allah's followers can compromise and adopt some of the ways of the Infidel West, I urge you to read this excellent primer on the Khilafah, or what the Western press calls the "Caliphate." Here are some excerpts:

The democratic system conflicts with the Islamic system in the fundamentals as well as the branches. It is not a proper to equate both systems if there exist some similarities between them. Since democracy is kufr and Islam is belief. The term "Democracy" or any of its meanings was not used by the Islamic State that continued in its implementation of Islam for thirteen centuries.

In the democratic system, the foreign policy is based on honoring the international borders and waters because they are a manifestation of respect to people's freedom in choosing their systems, laws, and rulers. Under the Islamic ruling system, the foreign policy is tied with Jihad, conquest and spread of Islam. It destroys borders and physical barriers to save humanity from worshipping each other to worshipping the lord of humanity.

Democracy sanctifies liberties. Individual's freedom determines what a society should be. Islam has its own rules regarding the rights of the individual and of the jama'a: This is in contrast to the Western notion of freedom and liberties.

Of course, some of our infidel foes try to slanderously label that as "Islamo-fascism."
A Warning to Qatar
As reports increase that the corrupt Gulf sheikdom of Qatar is rolling out the welcome mat for American troops, let's remember the words of the Holy Prophet in the Qu'ran, when he wrote, "Do not seek power from the fire of the pagans." For more on the Infidels' infiltration of the holy lands of the prophet, see this article from khilafah.org. (It rhymes with falafel.)

William Safire's piece in today' NYT alleges that Iraq's Saddam Hussein is using a few dozen of my al Qaeda operatives to infiltrate northern Iraq and kill Kurdish leaders. But that's American aggressor-speak intended to demean the lawful policing efforts that we are assisting in Northern Iraq. Our operatives are not terrorists, but law enforcement professionals who are training Iraqis how to track down and stop infiltrators and subversives. With Allah's help, they won't be stopped.
Allah's Favorite Blog
A commentator in the LA Times remarks: If Palestinian intellectual Edward W. Said were blogging, would Alterman and Beam be calling him a navel gazer? Or would they praise his brave alternative point of view and complain that the mainstream press is too conservative? I wonder, has she read Osama's blog?
I'm Back!
Sheik Osama had to take a little break from blogging for a few days - for a weekend trip to Washington and Philadelphia. Washington looked quite nice this time of year - the cherry blossoms sure add some color to an otherwise drab city. The Hummers and with soldiers manning their .50-calibers protecting the Pentagon from truck bombs on highway 110 were another nice touch. I must say, I haven't had to fly since Sept. 11, and praise be to Allah for that! Security is a mess. But worth it, I guess. At least I felt safe - for the most part. Except when that African man in the seat across the aisle from me with the Muslim-y hat on his head tried to stand up and go to the bathroom as the plane was descending into Reagan International. The stern-faced flight attendant stared him down. As you may know already, no one is permitted to leave their seat during the last 30 minutes of any flight into Reagan - and the flight from Pittsburgh to DC is just 31 minutes long. It's a good regulation. Leaves the aisle clear for al Qaeda operatives to leave their seats and sprint up the uncluttered aisle. Allah be praised!

More later...

Friday, April 05, 2002

A good American
I'm glad to see that Paul Krugman agrees with me. Says Krugman, "The unfolding tragedy in the Middle East reduces me and many others to despair in a way that Sept. 11 never did. I'm glad to know that the deaths of 3,000 of his fellow citizens and fellow New Yorkers doesn't trouble him nearly as much as the deaths of Allah's own Palestinian freedom fighters and their support network. Allah be praised!

Thursday, April 04, 2002

Terror Farming
I'm not a big William Safire fan, but in his NYT column today he is right about one thing: Arafat is the primary cause of the suffering of the Palestinian people. Just as I and my Taliban brothers worked to oppress the people of Afghanistan. Why? Simple. To create fertile soil for Jihad. Allah needs more people willing to be suicide bombers, willing to hijack and crash large airplanes, willing to die for Allah, Osama and Arafat. Those martyr payments from Saddam help, sure, but can you imagine an economically well-off person in a free society being willing to blow themselves up for Allah? Of course not!

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

A question
Why does Arafat send suicide bombers instead of Palestinians armed with rifles? This video takes aim at the answer. Osama says click the link only if you have Windows Media Player. And a sense of humor. Allah be praised.
Um. True.
I finally had the opportunity to read Mark Steyn's Easter editorial in the London Telegraph. It was... disturbing. But parts of it, especially the one excerpt below, are bang-on.

In the American press, you read things like: "An observer to the bomb-blast scene described a dead young girl, perhaps 10 or 12, lying on the ground with her eyes open, looking as if she was surprised." For Europe, on the other hand, the main significance of this development was that it was "unhelpful" to the "peace process". Before I'm accused of being more upset about dead Jewish than dead Muslim kids, let me say that I take people at their own estimation: in the Palestinian Authority schools, they teach their children about the glories of martyrdom; indeed, the careers guidance counsellor appears to have little information on alternative employment prospects; at social events, the moppets are dressed up as junior jihadi, with toy detonators and play bombs. It's not that I place less value on Palestinian lives, but that Chairman Arafat and his chums in Hamas do.

It's a nice essay, but I'm not sure Mr. Steyn truly understands fundamentalist Islam. For a follower of Allah, there is no greater "career" choice than that of suicide bomber. Except of course terrorist mastermind because you get to live longer.
A Puppet's Plot
The American puppet Karzai unleashes his "security forces" to arrest hundreds of his political opponents, according to this report from the NYT. The American puppet Karzai alleges a "conspiracy" planning a bombing campaign around Kabul to undermine Karzai's regime, and claims conspiracy is linked to warlord Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, a longtime servant of Allah who ruthlessly battles the infidels and their lackeys. NYT reports that details of the alleged plot are "sketchy" and there are "suspicions that the government fabricated the threat to crush its opponents."
Housekeeping notes
After much reading of the Qu'ran and extensive prayers to Allah, I have made some changes. First of all, my decision to renounce violence as a strategic tactic, made on April 1, was foolish and I hereby renounce my renouncement of violence. Bombs away.

Second, I have made some slight changes to the format of my blog, to make it more easily read.

Also, Osama's blog may not be updated much between now and Monday. The author has things to do in Washington and Philadelphia, and will either be in one of those cities or on a plane until late Sunday, but will return to update this blog starting Monday morning, Allah willing.

And finally, a big thanks to this young blogger. Although he calls me a horse's patoot, he does stand up for Osama's blog. May Allah bring him ten thousand hits and frequent links on InstaPundit.

As always, thanks for reading Sheik Osama's blog.
An interesting look from Wired at how technological advances are redefining modern warfare. A retired U.S. Air Force colonel who helped shape U.S. military strategy in the first Gulf War, says radically improved capabilities of air power require a new approach that concentrates on making precision strikes against infrastructure and tries to spare the lives of enemy troops. John Warden says the U.S. in the Gulf War should have avoided targeting Iraqi troops and instead encouraged them to "head north" and take out Saddam. "My thought is in today's world, let's ... not target anything that's a traditional military target," Warden says. Osama agrees. That's why our side also avoids targeting soldiers where possible and instead we fly airplanes full of innocents into buildings full of civilians, and send suicide bombers into groceries, cafes and banquets instead of against military facilities.
Praying to Allah
Praying that Victor Davis Hanson is wrong this time. Hanson writes, "The Palestinians have turned to suicide bombers--terrorists boasting of a new and frightening tactic that cannot be stopped. But they should recall the kamikazes off Okinawa that brought death, terror and damage to the American fleet - before prompting horrific responses that put an end to them for good and a lot more besides. In general, the record of terrorist bombers - whether Irish, Basque or Palestinian - who seek to reclaim "occupied" lands is not impressive in winning either material concessions or the hearts and minds of the world."

I must admit, I shuddered when I read it. Now I'm thumbing through my Qu'ran, looking for Allah's assurances of victory. Nightmares tonight, I'm expecting.

I found Hanson's scary essay thanks to Pejman.

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

Nothing to Lose
Thomas L. Friedman in his newest NYT column helps Muslims loyal to Allah and Jihad realize just what's at stake in the current Israeli-Palestinian crisis: If we don't sucker Israel into staying on the West Bank, the inevitable victory of Islam over the Christian/Zionist/Infidel West will be delayed.

Friedman writes, "What Osama bin Laden failed to achieve on Sept. 11 is now being unleashed by the Israeli-Palestinian war in the West Bank: a clash of civilizations."

I'll ignore the personal slight - Sept. 11 was a smashing success in my book. It lured America into an Afghanistan quagmire.

Friedman notes that Malaysia's prime minister, Mahathir Mohamad has condembed Allah's favored martydom tactic of suicide bombing, saying that "Bitter and angry though we may be, we must demonstrate to the world that Muslims are rational people when fighting for our rights, and do not resort to acts of terror."

Speak for yourself, Mahathir - I'm none of those things!

Friedman also says that if Israel stays in the West Bank, and a U.S.-NATO force doesn't help Palestinians oversee creation of a stable country, "Osama wins - and the war of civilizations will be coming to a theater near you."

Ah. But here's the puzzle: If Israel leaves the occupied territories and U.S./NATO troops move in to "guarantee" a peace, Allah's warriors will accelerate the clash of civilizations by attacking all of the infidels at once. Even if we lose we win, because we have nothing to lose - no civilization, no history of technological, cultural or economic achievement. Without oil, the Arab countries have a billion hungry people and nothing but sand. That's why we're invincible. We have nothing to lose but our lives - and me and Yasser both got hundreds of foolish young men willing to die for Allah.
The capture of my dear friend, Abu Zubaida, has me worried. He was important to al-Qaeda's ongoing operations. Zubaida was crucial to screening recruits from each new group of easily-brainwashed young Muslims, mostly Saudis and Egyptians, who came to our camps, and he was involved in finance and in making travel arrangements for those we sent on missions. But that's not why I'm so worried today - Abu's functions can be done by others.

My worry - and why I've been too busy to post today - is that Zubaida knows where I am. :-(

I take comfort in the knowledge that Zubaida - we called him "Zoo" - won't be tempted by $25 million in U.S. cash to turn me in, because they won't offer it to him. He's gonna go before a military tribunal. . I try to trust that Allah's promise of 72 virgins for martyrs will sway him to reject the almost-certain offer of being spared the death penalty if he leads the infidel army to me. But I can't get that old Lyle Lovett tune, You can't resist it, outta my head.

On the other hand, even though Zoo is a youngster - just 30 - those 72 virgins might be a frustration to him rather than an attraction. According to the WaPo story today, while Zubaida was trying to escape the Pakistani police officers and U.S. agents swarming over a home that he shared with seven or eight other Arab men, he "was shot in the groin and thigh." That's got me worried.

Monday, April 01, 2002

Narcissism on Parade
Bill Clinton is such a narcissist. He actually believes that back in the fall of 2000 I was sitting around in a cave plotting ways to kill him. "He was training people to kill me. Which was fair enough - I was trying to get him," Clinton tells Newsweek, referring to me.

What bunk! In the fall of 2000, I was sad to see his administration coming to an end. He was a good president, as far as I'm concerned. After all, when he wasn't totally distracted by that chubby chick, he was totally ineffective in dealing with al Qaeda - lobbing cruise missiles at aspirin factories. Hah! We enjoyed his presidency. He made our job easy. If he could've run again, I'd have funneled money to his campaign via the Chinese.
Allah be praised, this article from Andrew Sullivan shows that the infidels are beginning to fully grasp the evil plans of Arab Islamo-fascists like Yassir Arafat, who indeed was a part of a "nexus of terror" that has links to Baghdad, is armed by the Iranian Islamo-fascists, is egged on by Syria and is financed by Saudi Arabia. I can confirm that point in his essay today because, as you know, Sheik Osama has joined Mr. Arafat in rejecting violence. The streets of Israel and indeed America are safe once again. If the IDF and American forces withdrawal to their home territories, I won't interpret it as weakness and launch more attacks, like I did after Clinton's weak response to the embassy bombings and the attack on the Cole. I've changed, my friends, and stand ready to accept any and all invitations from the EU and especially France to sit down and negotiate. After that, I'd like to do Oprah.
I was watching al Jazeera last night and seeing the images of those poor Palestinians besieged by the Israelis, and I had an epiphany. Violence breeds violence. I mean, there I was, the world's leading terrorist/freedom fighter (depending on your point-of-view) and it just hit me. Every time I blow someone up or kill some people, the other side wants to do the same to me. Allah never mentioned that Jihad might involve getting hit too, although I think the Old Testament talks about an eye for an eye. I guess I was expecting the Jews and the Christians to turn the other cheek, and just sit back and take it. But everytime Allah's whimpering weasel/warrior (depending on your point of view) on the West Bank sends suicide bombers into Israel, Israelis get really upset. So I've decided to swear off violence as a tactic, and will soon be turning myself in to the nearest American troops in Afghanistan. I, Osama bin Laden, murderer of thousands, hereby renounce violence on this, the first day of April, in the year of their Lord, 2002. Just like Arafat has done many many times.